Saturday 17 December 2016

What to do when your husband won't lead spiritually

In many marriages, the wife feels disappointed, angry, resentful, resigned, and confused about what to do with a husband who seems spiritually absent or is unwilling to lead his family toward Christ.

If you find this to be true in your marriage, the solution is not to nag or criticize in an attempt to force your husband to fulfill his responsibility, neither is it wise to give up and resign yourself to having to take the lead..

Instead the answer lies in letting go of control of the situation and allowing God to work on His son (your husband).  While this may seem like you will just sit back and wait, there is something you can take control of: yourself. 



1 Peter 3:1 says: "In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words" New Living Translation

In order to encourage your husband’s faith you must first be that example of one obeying The Word. As we passionately pursue God through Jesus Christ and recognize that relationship as being THE most important we gain truth and insight from His Word.  During the tough times, we are able to complain and cry out to Him.  When life is going well we dance, sing and rejoice thanking Him.  In short, when we seek to know and follow Him we are comforted, guided and taught by the Holy Spirit living inside us.

Ok, so you want something else...

Gratitude.  One of the things men thrive on is a feeling of appreciation when we actively notice and express gratitude for our blessings and the many gifts God has given us in our husband, it will change our attitude towards him. Be intentional about looking for things you appreciate about your husband – what he’s doing right and then write them down in a gratitude journal and share them with him. Hebrews 3:13 tells us to “encourage one another daily as long as it is called today so that none of you may be hardened by sin and deceitfulness.”

I am not suggesting this as a subtle tool to use for control, but as a true act of loving your husband as you vowed on your wedding day that you would do until your last day.  These are his actions, words or behaviors that you show genuine appreciation for because you really appreciate them.  This is likely to be a marked difference to what he is used to from you if he is used to receiving criticism...or helpful pointers.  As you do this with an expectation that through your act of love God is touching your husband it will also help you feel happier.  

What you focus on expands in your life so the more you focus on what you appreciate rather than his shortcomings that you wish would change, the more of those positive things you will experience.  

In conclusion the idea is to love him, bless him, and enjoy him for the things about him that you delight in, and all the while Praying and Modeling what you hope he will become for me.

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Until next time

Love me, Love you!
Donnamaree

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