How to Improve your Marriage

PHOTO by Shona Harris

I can guess that whenever there's been conflict in your marriage you can easily spot what it is your husband could have done differently.  Am I correct?

Well, I am challenging you today to claim your own part.  Are you open to stop the blame and work on you?  It means taking responsibility!

If your goal is to have a life-long satisfying marriage … you have to take personal responsibility for the health and well-being of your relationship.

I believe that I must own the fact that as an individual in this marriage, I am responsible for the good, the bad, and any ugly that is present in my marital union. 

I'll be honest … I know we all want to blame our spouses (or somebody or something else) for the problems in our marriages.  I did the same for years and truly believed that to be the truth until I was presented with another possibility.  I was asked if i was open to the possibility that most of the problems in my marriage relationship actually started with me.  Not my husband… but me! 

Marriage expert Paul David Tripp says: “I am my biggest marital problem!” 

The fact is … no marriage will ever be stronger than the weaker spouse.  

Therefore, can you see why you can’t have the best marriage … unless you are the best wife?  So, both you and your husband need to work at becoming the best “you” possible … to being the man and woman, God wants you to be; and to have the best marriage possible!

Becoming the best involves answering the hard questions like: 

What behaviors do I know I am doing which is causing issues in our marriage?  What am I blaming my spouse for?

How have I contributed to the weaknesses in our relationship?

This will not only help you strengthen your marriage, in my experience, the answers to these have uncovered deep rooted issues to resolve.  

You say you have already started to change but your husband is not changing?

I know.

We cannot change anyone but ourselves.

Right now, I encourage you to keep on keeping on because it only takes one spouse who is willing to work toward being happily married for the whole marriage to change.

This is a process … it is completely your responsibility … don't grow weary in doing good.

If you want a better marriage … focus on becoming a better you!

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During 2017 we have been getting together for monthly Mastermind sessions so find the information on dates and times in the Facebook group.